Finding My Way Home
by Chasing Fantasies
Summary: Emma left ten years ago. After having her heart broken, she's made something better of herself. She's everything everyone else said she couldn't be. She's proven them all wrong. So why isn't she happy? She never planned on going back to Storybrooke, but eventually everyone finds their way home. AU no magic
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT

_Flashback _

_"__I'm in love with you." Emma breathed out softly. The air around them was tight and she could feel the tears gather from behind the corners of her eyes, but she couldn't take it. She had to say it or she might never get the chance again. She needed her to know. If there was even a shot, if there was a chance then Emma had to take it. And her gut instinct had never lead her astray before. _

_Better yet, her heart had never lead her astray before. _

_"__What-?" _

_Emma wiped furiously at her eyes, clawing the tears before they might fall. She wouldn't cry. She had promised herself she wouldn't. So instead she laughed hoarsely as she stood in front of her best friend. Fear of rejection clawed at her heart, but there was no one she trusted more with it than her. No one could ever replace her and that's why through all the fear she still smirked because despite it all, this had never felt so right. _

_"__Regina," She said stepping forward and into the brunette's personal space. "I'm so in love with you." And the honesty of her words had left her feeling raw. For all the times that Emma had ever been afraid she had never been so vulnerable. The shadows of the bleachers above them over casted her face, but Emma could still see her beautiful brown eyes fill with disbelief. _

_What did she have to lose? It was her senior year. Regina had been her best friend since sophomore year and they had been joined at the hip ever since. Every stupid dare and adventure, every heartbreaking mistake, every laugh they had all been with her. They all led Emma back to Regina. _

_She didn't want to leave and not have her know. She deserved better. _

_Emma's hand rose slowly, tentatively to cup Regina's cheek. The brunette's breath hitched but her eyes never left the blonde's. Emma wanted to believe she even felt her lean in to her touch. Her other hand followed suit and their bodies were so close. All she could hear was their shared breathing. All she could think about was Regina. That was all she could ever think about these days. _

_She was always on her damn mind. It was infuriating how she could think of nothing else but her. _

_"__I know this isn't the best time and that we-" __Emma choked on her words. "We could never possibly make this work, but I want to. I want to make this work Regina. I want there to be an us. I want to try." She whispered softly. She watched slowly as tears gathered in Regina's eyes. _

_The blonde brushed her thumb under her eyelid catching any tear that might fall. She was so beautiful and she didn't even know it. _

_"__I would do anything for you because I love you Regina Mills." _

_There was silence. And Emma with no other thought to say leaned down slowly. She wanted this. She couldn't stop, she had to try. She pressed her lips to Regina's. It was sweet and gentle and their lips stayed pressed together with Emma waiting for something, anything. Her friend didn't move. _

_The fear of rejection gathered again and tore her chest open in ways she didn't think possible. Had she read the signs wrong? The blonde pulled back from her as if she had been burnt. Her pale clammy hands falling back to her side tightly. She had messed up. Of course she had. Emma always fucked up the good things in her life. _

_"__Regina," She begged her voice cracking. "Say something, please…" She hated how childish she sounded. _

_The brunette started to shake and the tears began to fall and Emma felt her heart break. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Gina I shouldn't have done that. I'm so stupid, I- we—" She started to ramble. This was it. She had truly ruined it._

_She stopped when she felt arms encircle around her neck. "I love you Emma." came the soft whisper. Regina buried her face into her neck as if to muffle the words, as if she couldn't bear to hear them aloud. __And it was then Emma knew this was going to be so hard, but with her arms around her neck she clung to Regina pulling her tightly against her. _

_She could feel the wetness that gathered on her shirt as Regina cried softly. The blonde could feel her own silent tears as they streamed down her face. They should be happy. This should be the easy part. _

_Regina was the first to pull away. The shock and surprise was still in her eyes, but Emma saw something else to. She watched carefully as brown eyes glanced at her lips before slowly pulling Emma down to meet her own. It only took a moment for Emma to respond to the kiss, her stomach dancing with nervous butterflies. _

_It felt so good. To finally have her, and to finally be the one to hold her. None of the other guys had ever made Emma feel like this, no matter how many she went through. She had always been drawn back to Regina, no matter how much she tried to fight it. _

_It was slow, it was curious, and it was sad to. And it was still everything Emma had ever wanted. And maybe it wasn't full blown love, but it was a start. Regina cared for Emma, more than she should. They could figure this out together. _

_Everyone else be damned. _

_Regina pulled back and separated herself. A flush of pink across her face, her eyes stayed downcast. Did she regret it? "Emma." She started. "I need to think about this ok? I just need a little bit of time. I-I'm not sure how…" She mumbled off. _

_Emma gave a lopsided teary smile. "I know." She knew this wasn't going to be easy. They both needed time. But this was a first step. _

_Regina looked up and nodded in a daze. And it was in that moment that Emma knew she was going to run. All the tell-tale signs were there. She knew her best friend to well. Sometimes the blonde thought she knew her better than herself. That's what worried her. _

_Before Regina could even think to turn and go, the blonde spoke one more time. "Even... even if this doesn't work out Gina, I won't leave you. I will always be your best friend. Nothing will ever change that and I'll always love you."_

_Regina put a hand to her mouth and a strangled sound emitted from her throat. She was still crying Emma noted sadly. Love always looked so easy in the movies. The brunette finally took her hands and clenched them at her sides before meeting green eyes. _

_"__Emma Swan I do love you. More than anyone else in the world. Please remember that."_

_And Emma believed her, so she smiled. Because for all the fear in her chest a warmth blossomed at her words. It was okay. Emma trusted Regina. She held her heart and the blonde knew the brunette wouldn't break it so easily. Then Regina turned around and left. _

_Flashback End _

Ten years later

"Shit," Emma said looking down at her watch. She was going to be so late. The case had run far longer than she expected, wasting unnecessary time. She grimaced and combed through long blonde hair. She was only about twenty minutes out she guessed so long as traffic didn't get any worse.

Green eyes glanced down at her attire. She wouldn't have time to change into what she had originally brought, but damn if she didn't look good regardless. It would do at the least. And if nothing else Lacey will already have been there with something extra to change in to.

Quickly shifting the gears of her car, she pressed down on to the gas pedal whirling past the cars in front of her. As she passed she was sure to smile and wave by with one finger salute. She didn't like to be late. Not anymore at least. And assholes who drove any lower than thirty over the limit didn't deserve to have a license in her professional opinion. Then again, she thought old people didn't deserve one either.

She took the next right on a little dirt road that led to one of the back roads. As she hooked back on to the solitary path a large sign came into view.

Welcome to Storybrooke

The side of her lips quirked down. It was home sweet home wasn't it? She should feel something at going back home after ten years of nothing, of cutting off everyone from her old life. She glanced down at her watch again. She turned up the music as loud as it would go and pressed on the gas pedal deciding a detour wouldn't kill her.

_"__Guess I'm arriving fashionably late as usual." _ She hummed in annoyance.

Regina frowned. She hated these events. She tiredly sipped at the punch in her cup as her brown eyes roamed the gymnasium. Lights were dimmed and the cheesy disco ball that hung over top looked like it would give at any moment. The music playing could have been pulled from a Beatles soundtrack for all she knew and even in adulthood all the men stood on one side and the women on the other. It felt like high school all over again.

_"__Oh wait," _She thought sarcastically. _"__It is."_

She had made her rounds. Said her hello's and held the polite conversation with everyone that she was required. And while Regina hadn't particularly wanted to come she was the mayor. It would have looked worse if she hadn't. Mary-Margaret and David had been over her in two seconds taking her down memory lane. She was introduced to people she hadn't seen in years like August and Tink and Mulan. And then there were the regulars who had never left like Graham and Belle and Killian.

And it hadn't been totally unpleasant, but it was a time Regina had tried her hardest to forget. People were people, they had new lives now. Ones that no longer included each other.

And yet it still seemed, as if finally, everyone was back where they belonged. Everyone was home.

"It's only been forty-five minutes and you make it seem like death has already warmed over." A woman snorted behind her bringing her out of her reverie. Regina immediately turned around and found Ruby and someone she hadn't expected next to her. She couldn't stop the small smile that played at her lips.

"Kathryn?" The slim blonde next to her smiled and nodded before walking up to grab her friend in a hug.

"Oh my god, it's been so long." She laughed infectiously. "I've missed you."

"Three years since you left to intern at that hospital. I didn't know you were coming back for this." Separating themselves, Regina gave her a look over. She looked different. Less like the queen bee's right hand man in high school and more like the future doctor the brunette always knew she would be.

Kathryn smiled brightly, ever the optimist. "I wouldn't miss this for the world. I loved high school, but I guess you could say this was my homecoming." Regina raised an eyebrow.

Ruby interrupted smoothly, "What she means to say, _Madame Mayor_, is that she's home for good." Slinging an arm around the blonde's shoulder the two looked ever the pair. They always had in high school. It was like things had never changed. Yet she knew deep down it had.

When high school ended, everything had changed.

Kathryn had stayed for a while to study, before finally landing a job at a firm in a prestigious hospital in California. She hadn't been back in Storybrooke in four years. She had kept in touch, but it had always been too difficult to ever come back for the weekend.

Ruby after things had happened had left right after high school. She had taken a year and traveled the world. No one had heard from her until one day she popped back in town and said she was here to stay. She easily went back in to business with her grandmother at the diner and looked to take over in the coming years.

Then there were some like her who had never left. A pang of regret built inside of her, she pushed the feelings aside. There were some things not meant to dwell on anymore.

"Well then Kathryn, let me be the first to welcome you back to Storybrooke." She said sincerely. It would be nice having her friend back in town.

"Thank you Regina." The blonde replied. "I heard you and Locksley finally tied the knot huh? I'm so sorry I missed the wedding. I really did want to come, I bet it was beautiful." She gushed. "I'm still looking for my prince charming, you'll have to help me plan—"

"Kathryn, why don't we go see Mary-Margaret? She's been dying to talk to you since she heard you were coming." Ruby interrupted glancing at Regina. The woman had visibly stiffened at the mention of her marriage. Something only Ruby ever seemed to notice. But she had always known. Ever since the end of high school, she had always known.

"Oh wait! Ruby did you tell Regina about—" Ruby was quick to put her hand over her friends mouth. _Shit._

"Kathryn I think it's time to go." Ruby said hurriedly now.

"Tell me about what?" Regina enunciated slowly. She didn't like the way Ruby looked. It was the same look that she had whenever she knew she was about to be in deep shit.

Kathryn glanced in confusion at her friend as she pried the hand off her mouth. "You didn't tell her about Emma?" She said quickly.

Regina froze. Ruby looked over and cursed. She was so fucked.

"Ms. Lucas." Oh so so fucked. "What the hell does she mean?" She hissed before grabbing the brunette. Kathryn looking between the two and realized her mistake.

"Oh my god Ruby, I'm so sorry I didn't reali-"

"Expalin. Now."

Even over the loud music of the gym, when the doors opened it seemed as if it was the only sound Regina had heard. And in walked the person she hadn't seen in ten years. It had been nothing like she had ever expected and she felt her breath catch like it had all those years ago.

Ruby saw her attention dragged elsewhere and looked. She didn't know if she wanted to grimace or smile. Either way she knew Storybrooke was about to get a whole lot more interesting again because it seemed for once that everyone was finally returning home.

"Exactly what you heard Regina." She said staring encouragingly at her friend, hoping this wouldn't lead to complete mayhem. "Emma's back."

A/N - Just something that popped into my head. Let me know if you like it and I should continue.

Chasing Fantasies


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own O.U.A.T

"What is she doing here? I checked everyone on the list, I approved all the invitations sent out so tell me Ms. Lucas," Regina seethed tearing her eyes away from the blonde. "How the hell is she here?" She could feel her heart racing and all of a sudden she wished she had let Killian spike the punch.

Ruby raised her hands in surrender. "It's our ten-year high school reunion. We only have one and I recently came back in to contact with Emma through a friend. So I said what the hell, why not?"

The leggy brunette had expected a response like this. She had completely called it even placed money on it with Granny. What she hadn't planned though was being anywhere near the Mayor when the blonde had finally shown. And the fact that Emma had even decided to show up was news to her.

_"__Trust me; it was almost a bigger pain in the ass getting her here than anything else." _Ruby thought as she watched her panicked friend. Out of the corner of her eye, the waitress glared at Kathryn. Her friend did always have a big mouth. Never able to keep a secret, she was almost as bad as Mary-Margaret.

Kathryn coughed awkwardly. "Surprise?" She smiled nervously and Ruby only increased her glare. Regina's face wasn't much better. If looks could kill, Kathryn was sure she had died a horrible death ten times over.

"Oh come on Regina, you two still can't be arguing!" The blonde said finally gathering some of her nerve back.

Regina snarled. "It's not considered arguing if you haven't heard from someone in ten years. And we were never arguing to begin with. Ms. Swan and I were perfectly fine."

Ruby barked in laughter. "She's right Kat. Regina and Em weren't arguing. They were at fucking war." Brown eyes glanced over at the mayor. "And could you really blame her Regina?" She whispered the last bit.

"I need a drink." Was all the brunette said before walking away quickly.

Kathryn watched her friend walk off sadly. "I really thought she'd be happy to see Emma, they were best friends after all. I know the last few months of senior year were rough for them, but I always thought they made up." She sipped at the punch promising that afterwards she would go to the bar. Kool-aid wasn't cutting it.

"I still don't even know what they were fighting about. One day they were friends and the next they all out hated each other."

Ruby bit her tongue. She caught a flash of blonde in the crowd as people began to finally notice the new arrival. "It's… complicated." Those two had never done anything the easy way. She could only hope the bridges that had burned could still be rebuilt.

If not… well then this would be a disaster.

Kathryn grabbed her hand. "Come on, I think we should go say hi. After all you and Emma were the pranking kings." She said flashing a bright smile.

Ruby grinned softly at that as she was led away. "That we were."

She didn't know why she was filling her cup back up. It was practically already full and yet it didn't escape her desire to be as far away from Ruby as possible. The way she had looked at her. It hadn't been her fault. She told herself it wasn't.

_"__This can't be happening."_

Regina's mind was reeling. But all she could see was the flash of blonde at the door. Emma Swan was back in Storybrooke. She tried to recall the features of her old friend, but just couldn't. She could feel tears at prick her eyes. Why couldn't she remember what Emma looked like? It shouldn't be this hard.

She jumped when she felt arms slide around her stomach from behind. Regina bit her lip, already knowing who it was. "I've been looking for you."

"Robin." She said turning around and looking at her husband who smiled sweetly at her. He always did. The burly man towered over Regina as he pulled her in close. She fought the urge to push him away. She didn't mean to feel like that. She never had.

"We're you expecting someone else?" He said laughing into her.

_Yes._

She could smell the alcohol on his breath. Well, it looked like Killian might have spiked something after all. She was drinking the wrong stuff. She'd have to remedy that.

"You smell like alcohol." She said bluntly. "Killian, yes?"

The man above her pouted. "We were just having a little fun." Regina sighed exasperatedly. She was going to scold him; he was the husband of the mayor. He should be responsible, yes? "I don't want to talk about him though. I want to talk about my beautiful wife."

He leant down into her. Regina didn't move. Her body vehemently protested but she didn't move as Robin touched his forehead to hers. He was her husband. She wanted this. She loved him. She had chosen him.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked softly, eyes closed. His breath washing over her face.

_No._

"I'm your wife, I do believe you no longer need to ask dear." She said with a tight smile. Regina felt nauseous with his arms around her. She thought back to another who used to hold her like this. Who wanted to hold her like this forever.

Robin opened his eyes and anguish had washed over him. Regina could see it and her insides twisted painfully. "Can't you just say yes Regina? Sometimes I feel like—" He stopped realizing he was letting the alcohol talk. He pulled her tightly against him, afraid she would disappear.

"You know I love you right? I love you so much Regina Mills." He finally confessed against her. Her heart broke as well, but for what reason she was unsure. She hoped it was the right one at least. "And I love our family."

"I love you as well." she whispered to him. "Kiss me, Robin." It wasn't a lie. She did love him. With all her heart she loved Robin Locksley. She had to.

A bright smile overtook his face as he was quick to claim her lips. The stubble of his beard scratching her face painfully as he touched his wife. He loved her and that could be enough.

"Get a room you two!"

Regina was quick to remove herself and she had to fight the urge to wipe her lips. Robin stayed close to his wife though. "Don't mind him." He whispered to her before grinning and turning his attention away.

"Jealous Little John?" He asked laughing. He had everything in the world he could possibly want.

Regina watched as a grizzly bear of a man came over and started a conversation with her husband. She still stood close in his arms like an object to be shown. It wasn't long before they were surrounded by men. Robin's whole crew was back.

In high school her husband had been known for his group of miscreants. They had called themselves The Merry Men. They had gotten into more than a little trouble, but once Robin had been designated leader they had gotten straight for the most part at least. That didn't change the fact that Regina had never been particularly fond of them.

_"__Neither had Emma." _She thought bitterly.

Growing tired of the conversation Regina curtly interrupted. "Robin, dear, I promised to go find Mary-Margaret. She wanted to talk about the new plans for the school." The brunette said lying easily. She could see the disappointment light her husband's face.

"I don't suppose you need to talk about that now though? I'm sure Mary-Margaret can wait until another night." Regina grimaced. She knew he hated her work. He always thought she had worked too much and that as a man he should be making the money for the house.

And yet there were still bills to pay. And Robin's self-employed hunter extraordinaire wasn't cutting it.

"No, I don't think it can." She said firmly, but Robin held on desperately.

"Reggie, please…"

She fought the urge to scold him about the nickname. She had never been fond of it. "I can't, I'm sorry." She tore himself from his grasp, but hadn't expected him to let go quite so quickly.

When she began to stumble, all she could feel was the sensation of falling. The horrible lurch of her stomach that she knew would be the embarrassment of ruining herself in front of all these people. That's when she felt a pair of strong hands catch her.

"Clumsy as always aren't we Regina." A rich voice said above her. And as she looked up to see the face of her savior, she cursed. She would have much rather fallen and taken the embarrassment because she couldn't take this. This was worse than anything she had ever felt as her entire body filled with dread. For the first time in ten years Regina was speechless.

"Emma." She breathed out looking into green eyes. And it was then that world seemed to stop.

In that moment Regina will have sworn she forgot how to breathe. And when she finally woke from her trance it was red. All she could see was red. Every fiber of her body filled with anger as she looked into green eyes because this couldn't possibly be happening.

The mayor was quick to push the women off of her and recompose herself as the two stared in silence. She had changed so much. And brown eyes reveled in the woman that stood in front of her. For all of her changes—and there were many—she was still Emma.

Tight black pants clung to her legs and the blonde wore a white button up shirt with the collar frayed exposing a plunging neckline. The black jacket she wore over it was left unbuttoned as the tie around Emma's neck lay annoying undone. The black pumps that she walked in effortlessly surprised the brunette the most.

The Emma in high school could barely walk in half inch wedges.

Regina couldn't stop the way her eyes roamed over Emma. And when they finally came to her face there was nothing that could tear her away. There she was. The Emma Swan she knew ten years ago. The small smirk that played at her lips and blonde hair that looked perfect no matter how unruly.

It was in that moment that sadness filled her and the betrayal came back full force. Ten years. Emma had left her alone for ten years. And then the anger came back.

"It's been a long time Ms. Swan." Emma barked out in humorless laughter.

"Ah so it's going to be like that then is it?" Emma said smoothly. She could see the anger dance behind green eyes to. Nothing had changed.

"Yes it is. And I would prefer it if yo-"

"Reggie are you okay?" Robin came tumbling in, worry in his eyes. "I saw you start to fall, I was too far to try and grab you, I'm so sorry."

"Reggie?" Emma said low enough that only Regina could hear. "Well, that's rich." She mocked. Regina glared at her.

Robin finally seemed to notice the blonde as he looked up. "Emma? Emma Swan?"

Emma bowed grandly in her tux. "The one and only Robin Locksley." She looked up with a grin and Robin laughed loudly going over to clap her on the back. Regina watched raptly in silence. "_Still ever the actor,"_ She thought watching her. For all the grins in the world, Emma's eyes always told a different story. Ten years and she could still read her like no one else.

She was sure of that.

"Well thank you. You caught my wife before she fell. I only wish I could have been the one to do so, but I'm grateful nonetheless." Robin said and Regina wanted to yell at him. Emma was playing him so easily.

Emma chuckled. "Trust me in high school she was falling everywhere. The woman never knew how to stay on two feet!"

The mayor interjected smoothly. "And Ms. Swan here never knew how to take her foot out of her mouth." She smiled sweetly. "I guess we both grew out of those habits."

She had captured green eyes once again. Emma hummed. "I guess so. After all it looks like Locksley finally took that stick out of your ass. It always did look uncomfortable walking."

Tense silence had between them until Robin laughed.

He had gone and pulled Regina into his arms holding her close. "It was one of the many reasons I loved her. And I still do." Before either Regina or Emma had seen it, he pulled his wife down into a lingering kiss. Regina watched at corner of her eyes as Emma frowned.

Good, she wanted to give something for Emma to look at. So when Robin tried to pull away, she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him closer deepening the kiss. As she lightly pushed her husband away, Regina reveled in the way that the blonde had to look away.

It was still so easy to hurt one another.

"Emma remember you promised to play nice." Ruby said as she appeared by the blonde's side. Kathryn and Mary-Margaret were quick to follow behind her.

Regina smiled to all three of them in greeting, but her eyes never left Emma's.

Emma faked offense at the accusation. "I swear I am! I promise no tricks from me, we were just catching up a little bit. I was feeling a little reminiscent."

Regina rolled her eyes. "_Somehow I don't think so."_

"That's so great! I miss high school so much. Sometimes I think back like it was yesterday and I was meeting David for the firs-" Mary-Margaret started to gush.

"MM, I don't think we need to start that again. You already told that story already." Kathryn interrupted. "A few times actually." She whispered dejectedly.

"Oh…"

Emma coughed. She really didn't want to hear that story again either. So instead she stared at Regina. She hadn't been able to take her eyes off her. She never could even now. Things were different though.

She had wondered how she would feel seeing the woman again. And now she knew. She hated her. It was easy enough to laugh and be cordial. Emma had always been able to fake it. But it didn't change the fact that she couldn't stand her.

_It hurt. It hurt so much more than it should have. _

A small flash of diamond caught her attention and Emma smiled bitterly. Ruby glanced over and didn't like the look on Emma's face.

"Plus I thought I'd come over and congratulate the two love birds. Finally tied the knot after all these years huh? I'm so sorry I missed the wedding, I'm sure my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail."

Ruby sighed. No, this wouldn't be easy at all. She had been hoping things would just fall into place.

"Right Regina?" Emma offered playfully, but no could deny the coldness in her voice.

Robin answered for her oblivious to what was going on. "It must have! I know I told Regina to send you one, I'm so sorry. We would have loved to have you there. We had a hell of a night." He said slinging his arms around Regina's tense shoulders.

"Reggie here was wild." He said and Regina controlled the urge not to sneer. Robin placed his lips on the woman's cheek sweetly.

"Oh it was just a beautiful wedding." Mary-Margaret gushed. "You two were so perfect."

Emma bared her teeth in a smile. "I bet. You've got a keeper there Locksley."

"Emma…" Ruby said lowly knowing if this kept on, one of the two women would lose their patience. Why was it that she was the one always playing peace keeper? People were supposed to make sure she didn't do anything stupid not the other way around.

"Well, Ms. Swan," Regina said smiling. "I see you're still alone. Still haven't found anyone who could love your boorish and uneducated mannerisms?"

Emma grinned and Regina's smile was gone. She knew that look. "Actually, Regina I came here with someone. After all these events get a little lonely sometimes."

"Emma Swan!" Regina's head whipped around as a short brunette came up behind them. "I've been looking for you everywhere." Her Australian accent and bright green dress made her hard not to notice. How hadn't she seen her before?

Regina could feel a pit build in the bottom of her stomach.

"Usually when you invite a girl back home, you introduce them to your friends." She said hotly.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. The case ran late and I just got here not too long ago." Emma said placating. Regina decided then and there they were standing far too close to one another. And when Emma slung her arm around the smaller girl's shoulder, the brunette was sure this new girl was going to spontaneously combust in front of her.

"This, everyone, is Lacey. She's my girlfriend." She said before giving her a small peck on the lips.

Everyone gawked momentarily before people adored the new couple and asking how they got together. Lacey it seemed was the go to person as Emma just stood there smiling vindictively.

Ruby was shocked. Lacey hadn't told her they were together. She had said they were friends and that she had come into contact with Emma through work. This messed up everything.

She cringed as she glanced at Regina staring at Emma.

"Well, shit." She cursed.

Emma watched on with morbid fascination. This really was one giant headache. It was a back and forth and side to side and front to back and a bunch of other shit. Storybrooke really hadn't changed. And this ten-year reunion thing? She wasn't sure if this was one of her best ideas.

Lacey stood next to her, her arm wrapped tightly around Emma's side. It was comfortable. She enjoyed the Australian's presence. It's funny though, she couldn't remember how they met. She probably couldn't even tell you where Lacey was originally from, but she was a body. And that was enough for Emma.

That's all she truly wanted. Someone to fill the space. Was that sad? She didn't particularly think so.

If Emma counted correctly she had been with Lacey almost seven months exclusively now. The brunette hadn't really given her a choice. It's not that she had particularly cared when Lacey threatened to leave, there had been many before her. There would be many after her and then even those in between.

Emma hadn't set herself to any one person. She had gone through men and women, left in the middle of the night and woken up alone. Life in Boston had been everything she thought it would be when she ran away years ago.

Fast. Fun.

It made her forget everything she had left behind. So she had never bothered to look back.

She spent her time forgetting, doing all the wrong things. Then she set herself straight and became everything everyone had always told her she couldn't be. Law school had been a hell of a thing. It hadn't been easy, but she had made it. She had made it so that she could shove it down anybody who dared look at her wrong again.

Her attention was brought back to the crowd. She knew everyone. That's another thing she hated about small towns. Everybody knew everyone. You couldn't go anywhere without someone judging who you were and where you came from.

She shouldn't have come. She hadn't wanted to.

When Lacey asked her originally because Ruby had slyly put it in, Emma had wanted to say no. But there were things she needed to do. Personal reasons, that after years and year she knew she had to come back and do.

Then of course there was Regina. That was a whole other can of worms she wasn't ready to completely open. It hurt. It hurt a hell of a lot more than she ever thought it would after all these years.

Emma swirled the punch in her little red solo cup. The decorations were tacky. The food was gross. The giant disco ball looked like it was going to fall at any moment. And without alcohol, she was sure she wasn't going to make it through the night.

_"__Well then, I guess it's time to make a scene." _

"Ruby!" Emma shouted garnering her leggy friend's attention. And damn if she hadn't noticed how her she had filled out nice over the years. "The Rabbit Hole still open on fourth street?" She asked.

Ruby raised an eyebrow before grinning. "Just like old times huh Swan?"

"Damn straight Red." Well, this would make things more lively.

Ruby whined. "Oh come on, that was years ago. My hair isn't even red anymore! It was a phase!"

Emma laughed and shrugged her off. "Sure it was, Red" She finished winking.

"We doing this like old times or are we going for the classier look now?" Ruby said walking up to her.

The blonde grinned, "When have we ever done things the classy way?"

The pair stood back to back and for once Emma forgot that she was back in a forsaken town she couldn't stand. They were just teenagers looking for a drink. Cupping her hands around her mouth, Emma took a breath. She heard Ruby do the same.

"Rabbit Hole Rage in ten!"

And just like that they had garnered everyone's attention. It was something popular they had done as kids, the weekend party hookup. Ruby and Emma had been royalty in the party scenes. And if Emma had anything to say about it they still would.

Tink grinned. "Fuck yes! I thought we'd never blow this joint!"

_"__Vulgar as ever I see" _Emma thought crudely.

It wasn't too much faster that the blonde pixie haired woman had a small crowd of their old crew going. It looked like they'd get something going after all. Tonight wouldn't be a complete waste.

"Oh, don't tell me the party kings are back at it? I don't need the competition mate." Killian said passing by. Emma shrugged in response, but didn't stop him when he put his hand on her waist.

"The town missed you love," The dark haired man said slyly. "Let's be sure to reacquaint ourselves before you leave."

Emma smiled about to say something before a hand grabbed her wrist. "I wouldn't be so sure of that. This one belongs to me now." The blonde held in the frown as Lacey glared at Killian. A body she was, but a possessive one at that. The glare she shot the blonde's way was one not too friendly.

Killian merely laughed in response. "If you think Emma Swan belongs to anyone, you truly don't know her."

The click of heels was all she needed to hear for the next party to arrive. "For once the pirate isn't wrong. Ms. Swan has never settled, always been quick to spread her legs and then run." Regina said cuttingly.

Lacey ignored them both before turning to shoot Emma one last look. "I'll pretend I didn't see that Emma." She said before Mulan had dragged her out.

Killian was quick to follow suit. "The offer still stands. I'll be by the bar if you're looking for better company. You grew up well Swan." He said winking leaving Regina and Emma by themselves for once at the door.

"Is little miss prim and proper actually going to come? I know you don't handle your alcohol well." Emma mocked. "Wouldn't want the lightweight getting hurt."

Regina smiled coldly. "You'd be surprised at how much has changed in ten years Ms. Swan." Emma genuinely laughed.

"You have no idea."

_Flashback _

_She was gone. Regina hadn't believed it. Sheriff Humbert had to have been lying. The note was forged. It couldn't have been Emma's handwriting. She had searched everywhere. The brunette had gone to the beaches, to the school, to the park, to her house and she wasn't there. _

_And when had finally realized it was true she hadn't known what to do. She had ended back at the station staring at the Sheriff. She didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to do all she knew was that it hurt. It hurt so much. _

_He had given her the note for her to read. All it said was thank you and goodbye. At the bottom her name had been signed in the cursive Regina had forced her to learn. She had practiced hours on end, because to ever get anywhere good Regina had told Emma one needed to know how to write. _

_She read it over and over looking for something that said when she was coming back. When she would visit or why she decided to leave early. Then she had asked him, "Di-did she leave anything for me?" _

_And when he slowly shook his head, she felt something break inside of her. She had promised. She had promised never to leave her. Regina knew that she had messed up. That the past few months hadn't gone like they had planned, but…. It was never supposed to end like this. _

_That's when she had started crying. She wanted so desperately to take it all back. She wanted for Emma to come back. And Sheriff Humbert had gotten up and simply said, "I know. I miss her to." Before wrapping his arms around her. _

_She had fought back against him. But eventually she stopped and just cried. _

_He told her Emma had decided to accept the Boston University's full scholarship only a week prior, foregoing their original plan for her to stay in Storybrooke and takeover the station in a few years. The blonde had only told him a few days earlier and said she was leaving the day after graduation. _

_By the time he had woken up that morning to help her get ready to pack, her and the yellow bug were gone. All that was left of Emma was the note on his desk. _

_The Sheriff said they could go visit her maybe. She was up in Boston, the university she was going to would always give the address, but Regina didn't want to hear it. _

_Emma had broken her promise. _

_She had left Regina here with her mother and Robin. She had left her alone to deal with the consequences. She wouldn't listen to the smaller part of her heart that told her this was her fault. That she had pushed Emma away, that she had forced Emma to do this. _

_It didn't matter. The blonde had promised and she had never broken it. Until now. _

_She couldn't forgive her. _

_She left the station that day and went home. She went into the alcohol cabinet in her parent's bar and grabbed the bottle of vodka she knew was stashed there. She had never been a fan of alcohol, always staying away from it when she could. _

_The few times she had drank Emma had been there to fight off all the boys who would try anything on her. It was chivalrous really.__Regina had loved it. She had loved watching Emma fight for her and stand by her all night staying sober just to make sure no one tried anything. _

_She got back in the Mercedes her father owned and drove all the way to the town line. She sat right there for hours waiting for Emma to come back because she would. Emma always came back for her. She took out her phone and called a dozen times, sent her as many texts as she could as she stared at the road. The blonde never replied. _

_She didn't know when she had started crying again or how she had managed to drink the entire bottle of vodka on her own but she had. _

_And after a week had passed with nothing and more empty bottles than she could count she gave up. Because after waking up hung-over in her car, eyes bloodshot Regina realized she lost the only person she had ever cared about. _

_She had lost the one person that loved her. _

_Flashback End _

A/N: Well second chapters up and I hoped you like it. I apologize cause I know it's a little rough. But leave reviews and let me know what you think. Next chapter is going to have a lot more Regina and Emma moments.

And Emma's tux in this was basically Angelina Jolie's tux cause that is my celebrity soulmate.

Anyway hope y'all liked it.

Chasing Fantasies


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